since you've been a good kid today, more pictures for youuuu!







i have to spam all the photos. cos i dont have much time left. doctor says one more week.
it's okay guys, when i'm gone don't mourn, just carry on. rejoice everytime you hear the sound of my voice. yah it's a song

mehh one more week to army. BRING IT ONN!!! meow
seriously, i'm prepared for it. i'm excited for it. but fucking hell, i can't bear to leave fatgirl
:( :( :(
i dont know how i'm gonna cope. later i cry every night howwww?!?

but i'm excited cos i think it's gonna remind me of my NCC times! woohooo i likeee. that's the reason i lke mass PE in school too! chirp!

since i'm feeling lucky today, you guys are in for a treat. behold, the photo of the most adorable girl in the universe ever!


and hee's a photo of mewith the most adorable girl in the universe ever!



ahhh, i'm going into army next friday. no escape man. mehhjhhhhhj

he heh hehhhh. the ninja strikes stealthily.

today was out with fatgirl. we were standing outside the toilet at vivo for i-forgot-what when i touched her face in a natural action kind of way.
then this auntie in her 50s or so was walking by. and she did a loud 'tsk' and gave the disapproving look. here's the highlight: she was digging her nose when walking towards the toilet. she was STILL digging her nose when she came out of the toilet.

yo yo what's up man. you tell me which one is worse. touching your girlfriend OR having a nose full of shit and not clearing it IN the toilet but in public.

other than the asshole auntie, everything todat was goooood. met fatgirl at her workplace at starbucks and then we went to vivo for THE TOOTH FAIRY. it's a nice movie but predictable plot though. funny show!

very good

i was reading an article on uncyclopedia about assassins. i found a funny quote.

The Assassin's movements could have been described as catlike, except he did not stop to spray urine against things

then i laughed out loud! it's so damn funny i had to show it to everyone.

i have a confession. i love movies! i know most people do too. buttt, i love them so much i consider being a movie critic now.
(not as much as i love fatgirl though cos i dont wanna marry movies)

so, i went online to yahoo about the jobs in the movie review area.

He sees more than 300 films a year. The flicks are free, and come with all-you-can-eat popcorn and occasional interviews with top-end celebrities.

you actually get paid to watch the movie. how cool is that?!

and there's no degree or training required. you can get started being freelance and just submitting your reviews to newspapers or magazines agencies! but prerequisites include eloquent writing and command of the english language and critical thinking skillz manz.

sianz.
byez

damn fucked up sia

RAHHHHHHH
my appetite has been FEROCIOUSSSS! meow.

recently, it's taking a lot more to satisfy my bottomless pit of a tummy. a few nights ago, i had supper at a pasar malam. i downed two ramly burgers, one coconut and one chicken wing in quick succession. my rampage was only stopped because i had not much money left!

i think i might have swallowed a black hole. and everything i ate is absorbed into the abyss of space. a menace!

anyway, went out with fatgirl today. had chomp chomp for dinner! i loooove it.
BUTT, i love fatgirl moreeee!
we talked about very intellectual stuff, like, what to eat.

hahahahhahahaha
we talked about gravity, photons, lasers, burps, and all the funny funny abstract space science stuff! we also talked about how to create a gun that fires bullets made of ice.

cool right. wooooyeah.
what do you mean no!
you're gonna get it! i'm gonna make you say yes. wahahahmeh.

has it ever occured to you how old people seem to gravitate towards each other? i learned about this through some irritating incidents.

i was hurrying at the bus interchange one day. there were about 5 oldies in front of me, not together, not friends. but when i was about to overtake them, they suddenly coagulated into a mass of oldies walking veeerrrryyy slowlyyyyy. i had to circumvent by taking a HUGEEE detour. mehhhh.

then another time, i was trying to alight from the train. imperative: trying.
what the fuck. the bunch of oldies just stood at the door trying to get past me. it's like the positions were switched 180. i was suddenly the one blocking them!
seriously, with the arrows outside the door directing them, with phua chu kang singing about letting people alight first. and then, it's the elderlies who do not perform these acts of courtesy.

i'm not trying to be an ageist here you know, i'll give my seat to an elderly.
OH SEE, seats are reserved for them already so why the hell are they still trying to fight their way onto the train? they think they own the public transport. they are the ones who will put their stuff on the bus seats and prevent people from sitting.

all the young people are giving in to the oldies by giving them the seats and all so why cant the oldies be a bit more sensitive?

i was so angry when one of the oldies blocked my exit that i TSKED so fucking loud.
you know, she was just trying to get past me and trust me, she was getting impatient. fucking hell. if she stood at the side and waited for me to alight before boarding, it wold be sooo much faster and convenient. i think alzheimer's claimed her common sense.

i'm so pissed.

Boys Like Girls - Two Is Better Than One (Acoustic) HQ - The most amazing home videos are here

i love fatgirl no matter what

trust is a fallacy. there is in fact no such thing.
the correct thing to say is 'benefit of doubt'

nobody will trust anyone but himself.

imagine this. you're gonna fall down from 12 storeys high (for some reason).
the one you say you trust the most says that he's not gonna let you die, that he will not let you get hurt. that he will protect you from any harm. that even if he cant save you, he'll let you land on him so you get cushioned. you dont jump anyway because you do not trust the person. you trust yourself more than anyone else.

i dont know how you can earn someone's trust. it's non-existent in the first place you know.

yep i should have a little faith. everything's gonna be alright kids.


hahaha i realised something fun. you know when you watch spy novels or watch spy movies, people usually use aliases right. and very often, they use alises that have the same initials as their real names for some reason.
Augustine Pang
=AP
=Austin Powers!

i shall call myself austin powers. the ULTIMATE SPYYYYYY!
very nice. (Y)

going sentosa tomorrow! WOOOHOOOOOOO! havent been there for ages. i miss the sun anyway. i havent been doing sports in the sun for a nong nong time.
if it rains, I'M GONNA BE....upset. :(
NOH, i'm still gonna play in da rain.

ahhh my comp is n00b. i can't go to youtoob because i cant download and install flash plyer. and i dont even know how come my flash player went missing in the 1st place. i can't watch nigahiga. bad.

anyway, i'm going to sentosa tmr! can't wait siaaaaaa.a a.

yer hear me? imma gon' keel yer.

fucking hell, whenever i get reminded of that guy, i get so fucking pissed off and upset. i feel so sorry that one of my friends has the same name as that guy because that name pisses me off and that friend doesnt. in fact, the name shouldnt even be tainted. the guy should rename himself as i'm-a-fucker-at-hotmail.cock.cb.knn.lj.knnb

an example of a sentence that might remind me of the fucker is, let's say, 'He kept his notes by his side lest faulty memory lead him astray.'
argh fuck, the sight, it burns!

i dont know why i swear so much in this post.
actually i do.
it's because i'm fucking pissed off about being reminded of that guy. that mother fucker really angers me reeeeeal bad.
self-control, young padawan
FUCK YODA. i will shove the freaking RED light saber up your green ass.
you dont talk to me about self-control

teehee i'm schizophrenic.
but believe me, both of me hates
that,
fucker,
down to,
the,
fucking,
core.

and guess what's the funny thing. I HAVE NEVER MET THAT ASSHOLE!
:D
:D
:D
i think that's cool. being able to harbour such intense hatred for someone i've never met, seen, talked to or any form of contact with. i know i'm being unfair so WHAT HE FUCK? you wanna talk to me about playing fair i will shove the lightsaber up your asshole too. i'm unfair but i'm not sorry about this.

fuck, i've never hated someone so bad. you can throw me ten more shawnas and the net hatred i have for the ten of them for simultaneously lying about me will not rival the hatred i have for that fucker.
ok, maybe it can rival.
BUT, you see the point? in reality, we can never have 10 shawnas. in other words, nothing else that is feasible in the real world can generate such quantity of hatred within me.

i have never wanted to hurt someone real bad. never. i will walk away from fights and all. when i hurt my friends, it's like play.
but you know what. if i ever see that asshole in real life, i will whack him.

i've imagined myself smuggling knukle-dusters into singapore just for that bastard. but, i dont think the knuckle-dusters matter. cos with such burning hatred, i'll be berserk when i start hitting him and when that happens, my bare knuckles are gonna hurt him more than knuckle-dusters. poor fucker, he'd be begging me to use the dusters.

why did he come to singapore. he's safe in malaysia right. he came here..... for fuck?
if i see him, and when i've confirmed it's him, ho ho ho, his mum wont recognise him after that.

hey, let's hope your short stay in singapore runs out before you run into me. i dont wanna go to jail you know? do you know that in singapore, you can be jailed for assasult?
but noh noh noh, dont worry, i'm not gonna be jailed for assault if i meet you.
i think it would be at least life-imprisonment for manslaughter or the gallows for murder.

i know i'm unfair. this world isnt fair man, it just isnt. little fuckers are happy while big fuckers like me arent.
wooohooo what an asshole i'm being.
jealousy just kills everything. it could kill him too, i dunno.

hey kids, today's lessonn is gonn beabout the four letter word. yep, LOVE!

from my experience, love isnt about happiness. it's about this supernatural feeling that is out of this world. it CANNOT be linked to either happiness nor sorrow because it's an enitrely different thing. really.

you can be very sad when you're with someone because of many factors but you still wanna be with him. it is not imperative that for love to be present, you must feel happy when being with someone. it's just a feeling that you must be with that special person no matter what.

i know i sound gay. homosexual.
and that's what i am
strongly against!
(read the two lines as one single sentence lah)

since we're talking about love, we might as well talk about the other 4 letter word: CHEATING.
people who cheat in their relationships are mother fuckers (father fuckers if they're girls).

i mean, do you guys have any conscience? when you cheat, it means you do not have feelings for your partner nor do you have feelings for your cheating mate.
firstly, it's obvious that you do not love your actual partner because, well, IT'S COMMON SENSE, i dont have to exprain.
secondly, you do not love the cheating partner because he/she is not important enough for you to immediately break off ties with the actual partner.
so why do people cheat. that's a good question you know.

hey look, it's 1.35am. time for my assassination mission.

i love basketball
i love megan MORE!

'We are in danger of making the A levels so tough that it makes it far more difficult for middle-ground learners. I think you can have depth and rigour with less content.'
~brother paul


yep you read that right, this quote is from our very own CJC principal who's leaving already :(

http://meltwaternews.com/prerobot/sph.asp?pub=ST&sphurl=www.straitstimes.com//PrimeNews/Story/STIStory_473946.html

go read the straits times article about him!


ahhh anyway, i am more or less bent on working for SAF or SPF . (you do know SPF doesnt stand for sun protection factor in the case right)
lesson time! saf stands for singapore armed forces and spf, the singapore police force. really!

i wanted to be a vet or zookeeper all my life. really. honestly, education ruined my dream. fucking hell, if singapore's education system was not so content-based and boring, i'd do much better.

brother paul's right. depth and rigour in thinking is more important. what fuck use is there if you know all your shit but cant apply them cos you're brain is only tuned to answering standard questions? believe me when i say we're creating junk. and i AM ashamed to admit this: i'm junk too!
life............. the end draws nigh. oh, by what wretched curse, stumbled upon, have i?

so now i know i wont do well at all for my A's. i wont be able to study veterinary. if i still wanna work at the zoo, i can only clean shit instead of being a real zoologist. really.
i see the image of my own wildlife documentary shattered.
i see the image of me acting like i'm steve irwin shattered.
i see the image of my own nerdiness and the mirror shattered.

shitzo, me be sad.
be very muchly sad.

here comes irony, ramming you like a fatboy RUNNING into you at full speed (~<0.3km/h)
F=ma. force equals to the product of mass and acceleration. i know the acceleration is close to naught. but but but, BUTT!, the mass is HUGEEEEE. like, HUGEEEEE! really. HUGEEEE!
yah.

so, HERE COMES THE IRONY! i wanna protect singapore, whose ministry of education screwed me up. no explanation to this irony. cos i'm weirddd

i wanna protect my country! i feel that singapore deserves peace. wahahaha fear me, i'm propaganda! really.

but i'm not gonna do shit in spf/saf. i'll only go into saf if i stay in commandos, get ocs/sispec, and (but not really a must) be in special ops, reallyyyy.
and i dont wanna be a traffic cop nor neighbourhood cop. i want action! I WANT THE ADRENALINE PUMPING IN MY VEINS! i wanna be in STAR which is singapore's equivalent to SWAT. or a CID officer. woooyeah respect unto meeee!

i dunno why i'm talking so weird today. ok maybe not just today.
but seriously......... nothing.
TEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

i'm so happy i bought a real size ninja kunai!
watch out dawgs, you got a ninja on the loose. you snooze, you lose and your neck receives the noose. the goose ate the moose for apple strudel and fruit juice.
ok ignore the last sentence. it was there to boast my rhyme power. (damn i almost forgot how to spell 'rhyme')

ok actually you can ignore everything in this post! but it's too late right.

ahhh, i'm so hyper. i think i should start callin these type of posts my Off The Pill post. just like nigahiga's offthepill rants.

it's the THIRD POST of the day!
well not exactly. cos it's already past midnight but WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME! hahahaha that's fast becoming my TM quote.

BUT I DONT WANT THAT LOUSY QUOTE TO BE MY TM!

i want this to be:
remember kids, do not try this at home. i'm a trained professional and i know what i'm doing. i've practised for months with proper supervision and safety measures and am therefore equiped to handle what you're about to see. however, you may try this at someone else's home.

just kidding.
BUT SERIOUSLY


who havent thought of being a superhero when he/she is young? well guess what! WHAT?!
this could all come true! REALLY?!
nah.

what superpowers do i want? i wanna be wolverine! WOLVERINE!
wikikikikimeh dom


i'm so restless today. i feel like doing sports now but it's so late already mannnnn. MAN UP!
ok let's play a game. i think of phrases and use the last word of the previous phrase t come up with another phrase and so on.

so the previous phrase was MAN UP!
UP burger
burger king
king solomon
salmon pepper rice (ya i know it's supposed to be solomon, but i cant think of a phrase ok!)
rice bowl
bowling alley
alley cat
cat out of the bag
bag of potato chips

ahh what the hell, now i'm hungry. i wanna eat potato chips! stupid game, made me think of food.

it's been sucky because it is sucky. rahhhh

ahhhh meoweeerrrrrkeeeedoi.

:(:(:(
):):):
:(:(:( ):):):


speaking about books, i went to the library today. i woke up late and stoned at home until i finally decided to go out and have lunch and then to the library at 3.30. the whole day was spent stoning and slacking and wasting time. there was really nothing much i could do as i wasnt in the mood for anything. fuckkkkk.

yeah i know it was a 'no-linker' in the above paragraph. i know i havent been speaking about books but WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE!?
WAHAHAHAHA wahahahahahaha. HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH. hur har hur har cheep.

in other words, i didnt have fun today. am sad.

it's been a sucky day, period.

hi kids, it's BARNEY!

guess what, i forgot new year. on new year eve, i was at home stoning. mehhhhh. it's like the new year spirit just ain't in me no more!
jay jay jay jaded.


cheep. i realised that you can appreciate art in many ways. for me, it's more of the first sight art. i am more inclined to appreciate the kind of art that jumps out for your attention at the first gaze. like, a very meaningful scene, bright colours, unique depiction etc.

i'm the one to look at, say, thumbnails of ten art pieces as a whole and zoom in to the one that captures my eye instead of religiously studying every single one of them.

i'm an artsy fartsy boy! woooooo.


in the rare moments when i actually think about stuff (yep, i do think!) i came to a conclusion in the bathroom: there are only two reasons that will make you find someone arrogant. ok i admit there can be more but i could only think of two main reasons!

number one, bitterness. you are not as capable or efficient as someone and thus, you see him as being arrogant because you are mad at him for being better. in this case, even if the person is doing something seemingly innocent, you accuse him of showing off. of course, there's a better alternative called admiration. instead of being bitter, you could admire the person, holding him as your role model or motivation as you strive harder to improve.

number two, you're better. you are better than someone and so when you see the person displaying his lesser-than-you prowess, you feel that he isnt good enough and that you can do better. so you think of him as being arrogant. the better alternative in this case is proving you're better and humbling the person.

cheep. i wanna eat.

i wanna cut my hair! ahhhhhh, one more month to army! COMMANDO, HERE I COMEEEE.